Those things just don’t happen. But it did, here, a year ago.

Arlington Mayor Barbara Tolbert was thrust into that position. The natural disaster that killed 43 people put her in the unnatural position of dealing with death and destruction, along with pressure from the media, government and social services agencies.

From the start, she was impressed with all the people who wanted to help – “not to be recognized, but out of human kindness. That made me more emotional. We don’t express ourselves enough for the greater good.”

Her experience as the longtime leader of the Arlington Fly-In kept the task from overwhelming her. With the fly-in she has had to deal with fatal accidents, death notifications, quickly coming up with decisions on multiple problems and dealing with up to 500 volunteers a year.

She would be asked to draw from that experience and do so much more.

What’s ahead?

Instead of looking back, Tolbert is focused on what’s going on now, and what needs to be done in the future.

There’s a lot still to be done for the families of victims. Even though the landslide was designated a natural disaster, the amount of money victim families can receive is $30,000, Tolbert said. When you’ve lost everything, that doesn’t cover much in moving and starting over again. Plus, many of the families are still having to pay for their old homes, even though they are buried under mounds of dirt.

Social services groups have been meeting weekly from the start to make sure they are not duplicating efforts. And people are still coming out of the woodwork, finally able to seek help. “There are unmet needs spiritually and in mental health,” Tolbert said.

Other efforts also are under way. An attempt is being made to come up with higher education money for children of victims, for example.

Tolbert said she and Darrington Mayor Dan Rankin are closer than ever. “He’s like a brother now.” They are working on a vision to rebuild the Stilly Valley, including an economic development plan.

Anniversary memorial

A memorial is taking place March 22 at the site of the Oso landslide.

The communities have been cautious about planning it on the first-year anniversary of the tragedy. The families of victims have been very involved, wanting to keep it simple and subdued.

“Families recover differently. Sensitivity is still here,” the mayor said. “For many it’s too painful to come. The remembrance is another benchmark of a loss so unbearable. It’s one more step in the healing cycle where we have more good days than bad.”

For herself, Tolbert said she tries to grab something to bring normalcy back to a situation that isn’t normal.

“Taking my shoes off and hanging my jacket in the same place brings me comfort,” she said. “Then I think of those who lost people and have no routines.”

Medal of Valor

Also this week, the city of Arlington received a Medal of Valor from lawmakers in Olympia.

An “unsung hero” received the award for the city, Brantly Stupey, 14. Tolbert said she wanted to find someone no one has talked about – a volunteer rather than someone who was doing their job. Because the landslide happened during spring break, one thing she notice was a lot of young people helping.

She wanted to honor them by picking Brantly, who had a friend who died in the tragedy. Brantly helped a lot at the Red Cross shelter set up at Post Middle School, where he was the student body president. He also wrote letters to the president and governor asking for help.

“He’s a thoughtful young man,” Tolbert said. “He gave a rock star speech.”

Just as hard as picking the recipient was picking the 35 Arlington people who could attend. “We could have invited 3500,” she said.

Tolbert was proud of the humility shown by those who went. The state shined a light on us and said how remarkable we were to pull together, she said. “But the communities here think that’s normal.” `

Looking back

Tolbert was at Legion Park in Arlington that Saturday morning at the Relay for Life cancer fundraiser when she heard sirens on Highway 9. “A lot of them,” she said. Soon after she heard helicopters. She then heard about the landslide, so she helped set up the emergency center at City Hall. They heard houses were demolished and that people were being taken to hospitals. All city staff had taken disaster training so they filled their roles.

“Things not in the (disaster) plan became my job,” Tolbert said.

She became involved in a plan in case a second disaster hit. There was fear that flooding could send a 20-foot wall of water into Arlington.

She then got involved helping people find places to stay as 110 agencies at one point were in town. Within the first few days she also called all of the wives of first responders to tell them what important jobs their husbands were doing.

Because of all the organizing and meetings, it was a few days before the mayor saw the disaster in person.

“I was totally blown away,” she said.  “Pictures on TV didn’t do it justice. It rocked me to my core. Everything was gray with mud and muck, no green.”

Tolbert said briefings from rescue personnel at the Red Cross shelter were emotional. “Everyone wanted to stay abreast of what happened.” She heard those in the shelter continue to ask, “Please, did you find …?”

One day the mayor saw a new woman in the shelter. Tolbert found out she was the widow of Ron deQuilettes. He was from out of the area, helping a friend put in a hot water heater when the landslide hit. Four other women had similar stories.

“I have great compassion for them,” Tolbert said.

She recalled another situation where Steven Hadaway’s brothers were searching for him daily. But he wasn’t found for weeks. One day, the bell rang and everyone stopped, as was the custom when a body was found. One of the brothers, covered in mud, said, “I think that’s my brother they found.” He was right.

It is surreal when going through such a disaster. But after the initial shock, people often break down.

For Tolbert, that came about five days after the slide. She was at the Red Cross shelter, like most nights.

“It was a painful night. Some parents came in from out of town who lost their kids. Their technical questions blew my mind. We needed some good news, and there wasn’t any. I had to stay strong for them. But when I went to my car I cried.”

While the mayor told many stories that broke her heart, sadness isn’t the only emotion she associates with the slide. The response by the community, and the nation, gave her a lot of pride. “It tugged at the heart strings.”

People gave money and opened their homes. Clothes and furniture were donated, “but we were in no condition to accept anything yet,” until a man donated the use of a warehouse, she said. “The good angels came out.”

President’s visit

Tolbert never thought she would meet a president, especially in the basement of a community center, leaning up against dog food. But that is exactly how she met President Obama.

“He asked us if we had everything we need, how our people are faring and how the agencies such as FEMA are working for us,” she said of the president’s visit last April.

He had been briefed well on the first-responders, knowing what some of them had done. He gave a few a presidential coin.

He met with the victims’ families in private, spending time with each one, not being in a hurry. He listened to their stories about the person they lost. And if they couldn’t talk, he held them, she said.

Tolbert said Obama was personable and genuine, but that changed when he got in front of the cameras at the press conference.

Still, overall, she was impressed.

“When we needed resources, he got them here,” she said. “We have a lot to be grateful for from government.”

The president coming to town was huge. The mayor couldn’t believe the amount of preparation the Secret Service put in, studying all of the buildings and streets and planning different routes.

“It’s like we stopped grieving for a day,” she said. “There was so much pride.”

Politics can be polarizing in the Stillaguamish Valley, but on that day people lined the president’s route with signs that were all positive, she said.

“There was nothing about politics that day,” Tolbert added.

“Government was at its best. Red tape was cut. We could just hand victims cash. The only concern was how do we get what we need?”

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Oso 1-year anniversary events

• Memorial, March 22, 10 a.m., Oso slide site, Highway 530 will be closed from 9 a.m. to noon, participants will be shuttled on buses to the site.

• Soup Social at Oso Fire Department March 22 from noon to 4 p.m.

• Pie Social at Darrington Community Center, March 22.

• Benefit Concert with six acts for Oso Fire Department at Rhodes River Ranch March 21 at 1 p.m., to include buffet and live auction.

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Red Cross still helping victims

ARLINGTON – The Red Cross has helped victims of the Oso slide in a variety of ways this past year, including housing needs for Kris and LoAnna Langton and Suzan Andrews.

And it is still helping, as the Red Cross will be supplying counselors to talk with anyone who deals with emotional problems at the Oso Memorial Sunday, March 22.

Andrews, a mother of three, had her childhood home flooded during the slide. They evacuated and stayed in a nearby home with a friend.

“My husband and I had to drive by the disaster site every time we went to work,” she said.

The family closed on a new home in Arlington in September, thanks in part to a down payment from the Red Cross.

Even though the tragedy was a year ago, for the Langtons it’s still very real.

“Our life was turned upside down,” she said. “For so many people that disaster was in the past. For us, it’s still part of our present.

The Langtons lost their home and most of their possessions. The Red Cross has helped with heating their new rental, funds for clothes and replacing work tools. The cost of moving and furnishings depleted their funds, so the Red Cross has helped them obtain financial stability.

“It’s been nearly a year, but now things are tougher, we are struggling more,” she said.

LoAnna saved her four children, their playmates, a neighbor and an aunt while her husband was honored as a Red Cross hero for trudging through thick mud to save neighbor Tim Ward’s life and helping additional survivors escape.

In the past year, The Red Cross has opened 675 cases, including 60 with the greatest needs who receive one-on-one help with personal recovery plans. Assistance includes: housing solutions, repair and construction costs, moving expenses, housing and utility payments, medical expenses, funeral costs, replace furniture and appliances, and individual and family counseling.

Other things the Red Cross has done include:

• The Red Cross has raised nearly $4.8 million for slide victims, of which $3.7 million has been spent on emergency relief and recovery efforts. The rest will be spent on recovery and preparedness needs.

• Of the money spent, almost $1.2 million has gone to disaster preparedness and community building; $1.04 million to individual planning and assistance; $959,000 to physical and mental health services; and $542,000 for emergency food, shelter and relief.

• Disaster preparedness kits including weather radios, flashlights, batteries and emergency safety information will be distributed to 500 households.

• $25,000 was given to the Arlington Food Bank as increased need after the disaster remains high.

• The Red Cross participates in weekly recovery meetings, and has given $200,000 to two agencies for ongoing casework for two years.

• In the aftermath, the Red Cross deployed 500 volunteers, served 29,000 meals and opened shelters for 142 overnight stays.

• Call the Red Cross at 425-740-2329; CARE Crisis Line at 1-800-584-3578; Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990; or the 24-Hour Mental Health Crisis Line at 1-800-258-4357.